As one can tell from scanning the last few posts, my posting frequency has fallen off quite a bit lately. There a variety of reasons for this but most have either to do with petty distractions that keep cropping up and the ongoing struggle the wife and I are having with Orthodoxy. Together, they have both served to leave me feeling somewhat drained lately. Work, which I normally enjoy, has taken on a new dimension of difficulty. As my prayer life has dwindled, so too has my ability to find joy in the simple acts of service I provide those under my care. So when it becomes all too apparent that opportunities for learning are growing ever scarcer, my motivation to work, to try to serve my patients fades away. I have also been working through a rather painful shoulder injury which I woke up with the day after we got back from our vacation in Arizona and a fairly chronic spate of fatique. Those will be addressed at a doctor's appointment Monday morning.
I think one of the biggest problems lately, though, has been the wife's steadfast reservations about Orthodoxy. I found some of the resources I had asked for on baptism a few weeks back and we had some good discussions on that. She says she understands the Church's perspective better but still has her doubts. The same is true of the Eucharist, the sacraments in general, icons & saints and the hierarchy. What, to me, are or have been completely resolvable issues, are for her major stumbling blocks. It has led to much heartache for both of us and she has stated repeatedly that she wishes there was some middle ground, some safe place between Orthodoxy and Protestantism. The only option would seem to be Anglicanism, but the Pontificator has surely turned me off on that option. And even if he hadn't, once you've become convinced (or at least largely convinced) of the truth claims of Orthodoxy, you don't want to go halfway. I don't want a middle ground; I want the solid ground of the Church, but right now, I don't know if that's ever going to happen.
Please pray for me, in my struggles with work and prayer, and for us, in our wrestling over Orthodoxy.