We had another strategic planning meeting today, which left me both en- and dis-couraged. Encouraged because it seems like the vision I have for this youth ministry is pretty accepted, and discouraged because I am still having my doubts about my role in this church. The real problem is that there really isn't anything wrong with this church! The staff, though not overly close in my opinion, functions well together, we don't have a lot of office/church politics, money isn't really an issue because we have a faithful congregation and I'm not being hedged in by someone else's expectations, at least not in a negative way. But something still just doesn't feel right and I'm having a hard time committing to being here. I'm excited for the potential of this youth ministry and how I can perhaps develop something much more than what other churches are putting on. However, what I keep envisioning in my head is starting to look more and more like Orthodoxy with a sort of youth ministry flair.
Lord, give me patience and give it to me right now!