(I wrote this Monday night, but couldn't get blogger to load to post it.)
Sometimes I struggle, as I’m sure many people do, with getting frustrated that things don’t work out more easily. That sometimes the challenges that present themselves seem almost insurmountable based solely on the circumstances I find myself in. What’s bringing this on right now is that I just got back from an information session about the nursing program I’m trying to get into. Admission is based solely on combined points of your general education classes (science & math classes count for more), stuff like anatomy and psych, and a skills test, which is worth 100 points. An ‘A’ is worth between 12 and 32 points, depending on the class and with total possible score of 188. Between the two, they said you’d need approximately 200 points to be competitive and the cutoff is the end of this semester. Don’t make the cut and you have to wait another year to try again. As my schedule & transfer credits stand right now, I’m at about 170, assuming I get all A’s and do very well on the test. That ain’t cutting it, obviously. So I’m left with having to add another science class (24 points possible), which bumps be up into the 190’s. Or, I can drop my psych class (12 points possible) and add 2 science classes, which would jump me up over 200. I’m not real keen on doing that, particularly since I’d be taking Anatomy & Physiology 101 & 102 at the same time, as well as either Microbiology or Chemistry on Saturday mornings. If I was really masochistic (or God opted to bail us out with a miracle of some kind so I didn’t have to work full time as well), I’d add the 2 science classes and keep the psych, which is an online class. That could make my total possible points 220 and would give me a very good chance of getting into the program for next fall.
So I get frustrated, pessimistic and a little angry. But then I remember – God has been good to us. My wife has already found a job that pays better than any other job she’s had in the past and has benefits. Our house just sold last night, right in the range we were hoping for so we’re actually coming out ahead on it. And since we’ve been in it less than year, that in and of itself is something of a minor miracle. We’ve also got free lodging for the immediate future at my in-laws and enough savings to last us several months – so what am I complaining about? Nothing. My mind keeps returning to this song on a CD of Orthodox chant I picked up last week – “First Fruits” by the Byzantine Choir of Boston – Psalm 33:10 of the Artoclasia Service of the Five Loaves:
“Rich men have turned poor and gone hungry,
But they that seek the Lord
Shall not be deprived of any good thing.” (thrice)
It is amazing to me how the simple refrain of a short song can be used by the Lord to encourage me in a time like this. A simple melody sung in a rich, human voice can give hope and sustain my soul.
Lord have mercy.